tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-124451102012-01-30T13:05:58.710+05:30Stories from a self confessed know-it-all... From the trenches of the city's rock music scene, to the bawdy world of management consulting - he has seen, and done it all. ...Emerges unscathed, a superhero in our midst - Just overly cynical and a 1st rate lazy slob.Cynical Consultanthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08367154524359685135noreply@blogger.comBlogger161100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12445110.post-68079824857872140862007-05-08T10:36:00.000+05:302007-05-20T17:34:04.248+05:30

"World of Idiots":i haven't scrapped you in a while... it's only because orkut is a cumstain on the proverbial pants of humanity and needs to be wiped out before we're all wearing google t-shirts and swearing allegiance to the oogle. remember back in the old days when monkeys wore trousers and the giant pig-demons only demanded sacrifices once every six weeks. Sigh... i miss those days

Cynical Consultanthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08367154524359685135noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12445110.post-59067444699901940072007-01-25T02:14:00.000+05:302007-01-25T02:38:30.442+05:30

c3. The Airport.The auto sped over the bumpy, undernourished roads of Bangalore. Quite unimaginatively the road was called ‘Airport Road’. As we turned into the narrow lane approaching the airport, I wondered how much time before ‘Airport Road’ would be rechristened after an ambitious politician.It was 6:30 in the morning, the warm glow of the streetlights lit up the passage to the airport. I was

Cynical Consultanthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08367154524359685135noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12445110.post-6933573335718924852006-12-18T15:08:00.000+05:302006-12-18T19:02:07.291+05:30

Woody Allen: “Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television”--------------------------------It’s usually something offbeat that gets you thinking. By thinking, I mean really thinking. Thinking about life, love, loss, gain, pursuit, happiness and its usually unholy tradeoff with money.Recently I was writing an article on stand-up comedy for a magazine. I found that, the basic premise that

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Shantaram, By Gregory David RobertsAbacus - ISBN 0-349-11754-3 (UK Edition, Paperback)“I was a revolutionary who lost his ideals in heroin, a philosopher who lost his integrity in crime and a poet who lost his soul in a maximum security prison...”I’ve never lived the life of a foreigner. Nor have I lived the life of an addict, or a slum dweller, or the mafia, or a doctor, or a….In this

Cynical Consultanthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08367154524359685135noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12445110.post-46049682760422980452006-11-14T23:15:00.000+05:302006-11-15T00:40:05.797+05:30

I recently had the pleasure of preparing for the CAT (Common Aptitude Test) exam, conducted by the IIM's. A few random observations, if you'll allow me.You can tell a CAT aspirant out of any lineup. Their eyes are wider, pupils dialated and a with hint of madness which screams, "Look I know I'm going sanile - but bugger off!!". It like being high on dope, without all the trouble of scoring. Thats

Cynical Consultanthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08367154524359685135noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12445110.post-38965063527818881782006-10-24T15:23:00.000+05:302006-10-24T16:11:19.415+05:30

It's important for you, the reader, to precisely understand what is the motivation for a post like this.All around I see pretentious assholes who think that their parents doing the humpity-hump behind the Columbus ride in Appu Ghar was the best thing to happen since the Big Fuckin' Bang. You know these guys... They have a new hairstyle every month, they wear t-shirts with slogans like "Via-Agra

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I'm a big supporter of gambling....Last Diwali, when gambling for the first time, I discovered how easy is it to take money off ignorant half-wits whose faces contort into grotesque Mr. Bean tributes everytime they have bad cards. And Of course, when their cards are good they waste no time in letting me know. Its usually in the form of a very intelligent question. "Uhh... What is the maximum I

Cynical Consultanthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08367154524359685135noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12445110.post-1160756719807515422006-10-13T21:53:00.000+05:302006-10-18T14:07:19.457+05:30

It was 4 days back when he left our house, but I still remember how he came there in the first place. The story dates back to 2001.Sometime in 2001:I had earned enough cash by washing cars, and walking dogs. It wasn't a very enriching experience to say the least."6:00 AM, a cold winter morning. Its so cold, your nipples are as hard as diamonds.Your only friends are the other car washers... Raju

Cynical Consultanthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08367154524359685135noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12445110.post-16612175784506347352006-10-04T01:07:00.000+05:302006-12-18T16:11:39.161+05:30

The Akshardham temple : Either you are one of those who has seen it, or you are one of those who missed out - For it is a spectacle like none other.or as I like to call it, "The Disneyland of Hinduism" A quick primer on the temple.... Location: Nodia Mor, East Delhi.- It is positively huge. The parking lot is probably as big as some of the islands in Indonesia.- It bright, and always lit up, just

Cynical Consultanthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08367154524359685135noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12445110.post-1159116166081715512006-09-24T21:56:00.000+05:302006-10-18T14:07:19.396+05:30

Prima facie a terrace is just some, of the very few uninhabited square feet of a building.It is also where cats take dead pigeons to eat, and hobo's frequently make their home for a couple of weeks before being discovered and discarded.But, in a housing society a terrace is precious - Strange, considering the animal kingdom is at its wildest there.Recently I found that the lock I had secured the

Cynical Consultanthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08367154524359685135noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12445110.post-1157944993198156602006-09-11T08:39:00.000+05:302006-10-18T14:07:19.274+05:30

Uncle Chips Sells Out : Lays chips, has bought out Uncle Chips.It is indeed a sad day for us all.…That's one small step for PepsiCo and one big-ass retrograde step for Uncle Chips.1: I can imagine how the events must have played out.Some Yankee sitting in PepsiCo's offices in Atlanta must have picked up the phone and said, "ssup homie dogg, gemme the number of Mr. Uncle. I just found out that my

Cynical Consultanthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08367154524359685135noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12445110.post-1157827149737366692006-09-09T23:55:00.000+05:302006-10-18T14:07:19.206+05:30

Let me just start by saying that I never, never let an opportunity go by when I can tease my sister about something. It usually ends with her stomping off - actually not so much of a stomp, as a tip-toe. She must be 22.5 Kgs... women these days, I tell you.About Tonight:I came back home at about 12:00 AM and she opened the door. After exchanging grunts, I headed to my room. Somewhere between then

Cynical Consultanthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08367154524359685135noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12445110.post-1157740216776655712006-09-08T23:42:00.000+05:302006-10-18T14:07:19.147+05:30

It's that time of the year again.Seasons change, the leaves wilt and fall, people catch colds thereby making snorting noises all day long and I ... and I, make a post on this rusty ol blog.Except this time it's different. There shall be more posts, and more shit hurled at you - the unsuspecting reader - from my Samsung keyboard. (hoping for sponsorship here)It's only fair that I tell you what

Cynical Consultanthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08367154524359685135noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12445110.post-1151697040335990632006-07-01T01:12:00.000+05:302006-10-18T14:07:19.087+05:30

Chandigarh, 1:32 AM:Question: How do you know when you’ve worked too much?Answer: Remember that noise which used to come between programs during the Doordarshan days - With the static screen and lots of bright trippy colours… Remember now? … Well that ALL you hear.So its 1 AM and you are walking back from the cab to whatever, hole in the wall, place the client has hooked you up - you acknowledge

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(frustrated as hell. away on assignment for 80 days. someone get me back home) From: the_cynical_consultant@blogger.comTo: anyone_who_listens@isolated.comDate: Tue, June 24 2005 14:36:14 PSTX-Mailer: Loris v2.32 Message-Id: Subject: Por Favor !!! WE are honest, hardworking consultants who make a living out of telling people how to do their jobs better.(OF COURSE we know better than those guys who

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Either that, or my own personal secretary, dressed in Red, with fishnet stockings, with a whiff of Elizabeth Arden of course, and direct credit of my tax free salary to my Swiss back account. But since that's not happening..... ---------------Ok. I'm in Hyderabad now.The flight was interesting. First time I've been in an ATR.An ATR is a brand of aircraft made thru a French-Italian combine. It's

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